你吃的差,睡在地上,
将火药装进炮膛,
嘣!嘣!
TheCountsBeard
ThetownofPocapagliawasperchedonthepinnacleofahillsosteepthatitsinhabitantstiedlittlebagsonthetailfeathersoftheirhenstocatcheachfreshlylaideggthatotherwisewouldhavegonerollingdowntheslopesintothewoodsbelow.
AllofwhichgoestoshowthatthepeopleofPocapagliawerenottheduncestheyweresaidtobe,andthattheproverb,
InPocapagliaways
Thedonkeywhistles,themasterbrays,
merelyreflectedthemaliciousgrudgetheneighboringtownspeopleborethePocapagliansfortheirpeacefulwaysandtheirreluctancetoquarrelwithanyone.
"Yes,yes,"wasallthePocapaglianswouldreply,"butjustwaituntilMasinoreturns,andyouwillseewhobraysmore,weoryou."
EverybodyinPocapaglialovedMasino,thesmartestboyintown.Hewasnostrongerphysicallythananybodyelse;infact,heevenlookedratherpuny.Buthehadalwaysbeenveryclever.Concernedoverhowlittlehewasatbirth,hismotherhadbathedhiminwarmwinetokeephimaliveandmakehimalittlestronger.Hisfatherhadheatedthewinewithared-hothorseshoe.ThatwayMasinoabsorbedthesubtletyofwineandtheenduranceofiron.Tocoolhimoffafterhisbath,hismothercradledhimintheshellofanunripenedchestnut;itwasbitterandgavehimunderstanding.
AtthetimethePocapaglianswereawaitingthereturnofMasino,whomnoonehadseensincethedayhewentofftobeasoldier(andwhowasnowmostlikelysomewhereinAfrica),strangethingsstartedhappeninginPocapaglia.Everyeveningasthecattlecamebackfrompastureintheplainbelow,ananimalwaswhiskedawaybyMicillinatheWitch.
Thewitchwouldhideinthewoodsatthefootofthehill,andallsheneededtodowasgiveoneheavypuff,andshehadherselfanox.Whenthefarmersheardherstealthroughthethicketafterdark,theirteethwouldchatter,andeveryonewouldfalldowninaswoon.Thatbecamesocommonthatpeopletooktosaying:
BewareofMicillina,thatoldwitch,
Forallyouroxenshewillfilch,
Thentrainonyouhercrossed-eye,
Andwaitforyoutofallanddie.
AtnighttheybeganlightinghugebonfirestokeepMicillinatheWitchfromventuringoutofthewoods.Butshewouldsneakuponthesolitaryfarmerwatchingovercattlebesidethebonfireandknockhimoutinonebreath.Inthemorninguponawaking,hedfindcowsandoxengone,andhisfriendswouldhearhimweepingandmoaningandhittinghimselfonthehead.Theneverybodycombedthewoodsfortracesofthestolencattle,butfoundonlytuftsofhair,hairpins,andfootprintslefthereandtherebyMicillinatheWitch.
Thingswentfrombadtoworse.Shutupallthetimeinthebarn,thecowsgrewasthinasrails.Arakeinsteadofabrushwasallthatwasneededtogroomthem,fromribtorib.Nobodydaredleadthecattletopastureanymore.Everyonestayedclearofthewoodsnow,andthemushroomsthatgrewtherewentunpickedandgotasbigasumbrellas.
MicillinatheWitchwasnottemptedtoplunderothertowns,knowingfullwellthatcalmandpeace-lovingpeopleweretobefoundonlyinPocapaglia.Therethepoorfarmerslitabigbonfireeverynightinthetownsquare,whilethewomenandchildrenlockedthemselvesindoors.Themensataroundthefirescratchingtheirheadsandgroaning.Dayafterdaytheyscratchedandgroaneduntiladecisionwasfinallyreachedtogotothecountforhelp.
Thecountlivedhighabovethetownonalargecircularestatesurroundedbyamassivewall.Thetopofthewallwasencrustedwithsharpbitsofglass.OneSundaymorningallthetownsmenarrived,withhatsinhand.Theyknocked,thedoorswungopen,andtheyfiledintothecourtyardbeforethecourtsrounddwelling,whichhadbarsatallthewindows.Aroundthecourtyardsatthecourtssoldierssmoothingtheirmustacheswithoiltomakethemshineandscowlingatthefarmers.Attheendofthecourtyard,inavelvetchair,satthecounthimselfwithhislongblackbeard,whichfoursoldierswerecombingfromheadtofoot.
Theoldestfarmertookheartandsaid,"YourHonor,wehavedaredcometoyouaboutourmisfortune.Asourcattlegointothewoods,MicillinatheWitchappearsandmakesoffwiththem."So,amidsighsandgroans,withtheotherfarmersnoddinginassent,hetoldthecountallabouttheirnightmare.
Thecountremainedsilent.
"Wehavecomehere,"saidtheoldman,"tobesoboldastoaskYourHonorsadvice."
Thecountremainedsilent.
"Wehavecomehere,"headded,"tobesoboldastoaskYourHonortohelpus.Ifyouassignedusanescortofsoldiers,wecouldagaintakeourcattledowntopasture."
Thecountshookhishead."IfIletyouhavethesoldiers,"hesaid,"Imustalsoletyouhavethecaptain"
Thefarmerslistened,hardlydaringtohope.
"Butifthecaptainisawayintheevening,"saidthecount,"whocanIplaylottowith?"
耽美书斋推荐浏览: 伊塔罗·卡尔维诺