禁止心动/Don’t Be Too Emotional(137)

2026-07-15

  那位温柔和善的保姆一贯的处事方式,只会让他满心不耐。

  修习心理学,并不代表要包容世间所有人事、时时刻刻强迫自己保持绝对冷静。一味对孩童、老者、万物生灵一味共情包容,只是旁人一厢情愿理想化的见解,是戴着美化现实的滤镜看待世事。这就好比学医之人,依旧无法根治全部病症,更无法保证自身永久不染病痛。

  归根结底,每个人与生俱来的本性根深蒂固、无法撼动。

  他自年少起便向来不肯认输,一时无法摆平的纠葛,他日也必会谋划后手扳倒敌手。至于冷静自持,更是和他本性相去甚远:他天性急躁易怒,外表看上去沉稳克制不过是后天刻意锤炼。二者本质天差地别。伴随年岁渐长,他愈发懂得压抑情绪,外在气质愈发内敛稳重。旁人屡屡评价他性情冷酷,可他自身也清楚,近几年的脾性实则比早年更为暴躁,大概是人越年长,骨子里越肆意随性。

  “Why are there watermelons at the back?”

  (后备箱为什么堆放着好几颗西瓜?)

  “You will know soon, pumpkin head.”

  (答案很快就会揭晓,小南瓜头。)

  “Can I eat it?”

  (我能不能拿来吃?)

  “No, it's not for eating. And you just had a hot dog, haven't you?”

  (并非用来食用的。况且你方才才吃过热狗,不是吗?)

  话音落下,高个子侧头瞥了弟弟一眼,继而继续叮嘱:

  “Keep that cold pack on your left eye.”

  (冰袋继续敷在你的左眼患处,不要取下来。)

  Jamie乖乖遵照吩咐,同时开口说道:

  “I think Ning might be happy too that Harry got punished by you. He always pulls her pigtail.”

  (Ning想必也会为Harry遭到惩戒而欣喜,那人总爱拉扯她的麻花辫欺负她。)

  “Yes. She has to say thank you to you.”

  (确实如此,她理应对你道谢。)

  Jane Patrick作答。车子一路向前行驶,最终停靠在一处陌生地点。Jamie探头望向窗外,满眼错愕惊疑。

  “Where are we?”

  (我们现在身处什么地方?)

  “One of my lands. C'mon, let's go.”

  “这是我的一处私产,走吧。”

  哥哥率先下车,Jamie紧跟着推开车门下来。Jane Patrick打开汽车后备箱,一手抱起四颗西瓜。走向这片林木茂密的荒地前,Jamie亦步亦趋跟在高大的兄长身后。

  “Be careful when you walk, pumpkin head.”

  “走路留神脚下,小南瓜头。”

  Jane Patrick回过头叮嘱弟弟,林间荆棘丛生,稍不留意就会被划伤,免不了又要哭闹撒娇。

  两人一路走到林地最中心,这里算不上严格意义上的森林,只是一片废弃已久、林木繁茂的空地。场地中央有一片开阔草坪尚可落脚,野草已经长到成年人小腿一半的高度。

  “I feel itchy.”

  “身上好痒。”

  “Patient pumpkin head. You are such a plainer.”

  “忍耐一下,小南瓜头,你未免太爱发牢骚了。”

  高个子吩咐弟弟原地等候,独自走上前,把西瓜一一摆放在人工搭建的矮台之上,四只台子各安放一颗,做完之后才折返回到弟弟身旁。

  “Hold this.”

  “拿着这个。”

  Jamie心头一惊,双手微微发颤,接过兄长递来的小型手枪。紧接着Jane Patrick掏出自己的配枪,手把手示范握持姿势,悉心教学。

  “Hold it like this. Be careful, it's fully loaded.”

  “像这样握稳枪械,千万当心,弹匣已经上满子弹。”

  Jamie仔细模仿着哥哥的姿势。高个子继续讲解:

  “Hold it still or the bore will slip. Close your left eye, Jamie.”

  “手臂稳住别晃动,不然枪管会偏移。Jamie,闭上你的左眼。”

  纵然心跳狂飙不止,Jamie依旧乖乖遵照指令执行。Jane Patrick继续开口:

  “Yes. And cocking it like this. Copy me, Jamie.”

  “接下来这样上膛,跟着我的动作学,Jamie。”

  Jamie缄默不语,激动得心脏几乎要跳出胸腔,一时失语。接连两声清脆的咔嗒声响,兄弟二人相继完成上膛操作。

  “Eye on the watermelon, aim the gun to it.”

  “视线锁定西瓜,枪口对准目标。”

  “……”

  “And shoot.”

  “随即扣动扳机射击。”

  砰——嘭!

  Jane Patrick率先开枪,一颗西瓜应声炸裂开来。他身子向后倚靠在一截原木上,对着少年说道:

  “Now it's your turn.”

  “现在轮到你了。”

  “……”

  “Shoot, Jamie.”

  “开枪,Jamie。”

  “……I can't! I'm just a nine years old boy!”

  “我做不到,我才只有九岁而已!”

  Jamie嗓音颤抖,依旧保持着瞄准的姿势僵在原地,分毫不敢乱动,极度惧怕意外走火。兄长语气骤然严厉:

  “Age doesn't matter. But you are a coward.”

  “年纪从来不是借口,你只是一个懦夫。”

  “I'm not a coward!”

  “我才不是懦夫!”

  “I can't believe you are my brother. I'm so disappointed.”

  “真不敢相信你居然是我的弟弟,我实在太失望了。”

  “I am your brother!”

  “我就是你的弟弟!”

  “You don't even know how to fight somebody. You let that fat kid beat you. You want to grow up as a loser?”

  “连自卫反击都不会,任由那个胖小子肆意殴打你。难道你甘愿这辈子做一个失败者吗?”

  “我不是失败者!”

  “那就用行动证明给我看。”

  “开枪!”

  Jane Patrick深深叹息,语调冷冽下来:

  “We're gonna go home now. I better buy you a doll instead of a gun. What does it called? Little Miss piano something.”

  “那我们不如就此返程。看来比起枪械,我更适合给你买玩偶,那个叫钢琴小姐的兔子玩偶,是吧?”

  砰!

  Jamie终于扣下扳机。子弹弹道大幅偏离目标,可至少,他终究突破心理桎梏完成了射击。看见弟弟敢于行动,哥哥唇边泛起一抹浅笑。Jamie垂下手,心脏擂鼓般狂跳,汗水浸透手掌与脸颊。平日里气色红润的少年,此刻脸色一片惨白,模样甚至泛起反胃想吐的征兆。

  “Do it again, until you get used to it.”

  “反复练习,直到你彻底适应。”

  Jamie深吸一口气,再度上膛。不知不觉间,少年打空了弹匣全部子弹。Jane Patrick接过手枪重新装填弹药,一边操作一边讲解技巧:

  “Stare through the shot, or you will keep missing.”

  “目光视线顺着弹道延伸紧盯目标,不然射击只会频频脱靶。”

  枪械交还弟弟,少年握枪动作已然熟练不少,再次瞄准另一只西瓜。高大男人俯身,凑近少年耳畔,用他惯有的极具蛊惑力的低沉声线继续教导:

  “You gotta keep aiming to the target even after the smoke clears.”

  “即便硝烟尽数散尽,你的注意力依旧要牢牢锚定靶心。”

  Jamie凝神专注聆听。Jane Patrick抬手捂住自己双耳,扬声高喊:

  “Fire, Jamie.”

  “射击,Jamie。”

  砰!嘭!

  西瓜在子弹冲击下轰然炸开。高个子面露满意神色,少年静待硝烟散尽之后,忍不住高声欢呼雀跃。

  “I did it! I really did it! You saw it, JP!?”

  “我做到了!我真的成功了!你全都看见了对不对,JP?”

  “Yea. You're really my brother, pumpkin head.”

  “没错,你无愧于我的弟弟,小南瓜头。”